December 29th

I am sitting here at work on Thursday. There is not much going on. Most people take this week off. So I am sitting here reading blogs about family, farming friends, hitch-hikers, train-jumpers, hippies(Rainbow people), and dreaming about a new adventure. I started a new book last night. It is called 'Into Thin Air' by Jon Krakauer. It is a autobiographical novel of his trip to the top of mount Everest. That is an adventure! Not sure I would ever undertake something that huge, but something new for me would be awesome. I am really looking forward to getting further into this book. I will keep you updated on how it goes.

I was asked the other day about how I felt about my kids and the way they were being raised. I think about them a lot. They come here pretty rough around the edges and by the time they go home, they have manners and act proper. I don't think this is all me, but I think it has a lot to do with a lack of TV and an increase in supervision. I don't think that their mother is involved enough in their daily lives and their education. I think that they are both very smart kids. I know they could be doing more and getting more out of life than simply being able to beat a Zombie video game and quoting Family Guy. Michaela spends large amounts of time coloring and drawing. Jonathan loves to be outside. Both of these traits I see in myself. I would really like to culture their more inquisitive sides and help them explore more options. We will see how everything plays out. The summer will be here before we know it again.

I have been kind of removed from my normal life this month. I am not sure why or what is going on with me. However, I made dinner and tried to watch a TV show with her. This was how we spent our normal evenings in. We both loved the show S.O.A. and so I put it on. I was not feeling it. I was so tired of the drama and bullshit they were selling. I just wanted to throw something at it!! So, before it was over, Ashley was falling asleep on the couch and so I started cleaning around the house. I picked up the living room, took out the trash, and when I came back in, it was over. I immediately put on some music and went to do up the dinner dishes. The music choice, I was really hoping she would like and we could discuss it, but that didn't happen. She hated it and asked if I wanted to have them play at my bar when I open it. I told here I thought that would be awesome, and she was not impressed. I decided to pull out some pants that I have had in the back of the closet for about 2 years. I was shocked, my two favorite pairs fit and were loose!! Three other pairs were too big and went into the Goodwill bag! I also decided to go through my shirt closet and get rid of things that I just never plan to wear again. I got rid of a nice sweater and my only Banana Republic shirt. Cuff links went with it!! I never want to have to dress like that again!! My clothes are not who I am, nor do they need to sell my social status. I am happiest in jeans and a t-shirt.

Ashley and I talked about the bar idea. We also discussed, me looking for a job in a bar 2 days a week, to do some research on how they are run and what the local laws are. I have never worked in a bar and I am not sure how it all works. I have lots of friends that have, but I need the personal experience. The bar idea, seems to be very romantic to me. I want something that is only open 2 or 3 days a week. This way I can do something else with my weeks. I could build something, or work with other people doing odd jobs and learning new skills. If the bar could make enough money to keep me in about $30k a year, then anything I do during the week would be savings,spending money. Along with giving me the opportunity to devote time to boating when the rains come. This could also be a great thing if the kids were to come and live with me. It would provide me with the time needed to raise them, through their teen years. It would also keep me appeased with new bands and new people all of the time. Like I said it is a very romantic idea! We will see what happens after I have spent some time working for someone else in the industry.

~RF